As little girls, many of us dreamt of the day when our prince charming would ride up on that white horse and declare his love for us, finally promising us the long awaited “happily ever after”. Okay, this is a beautiful dream, but how can any man on earth really live up to that? It’s sad that we put so much pressure on them to be so perfect. Let’s face it, men are not perfect... and guess what? Neither are we. We have to understand this before we can expect to have healthy relationships.
Now, I’m not saying that you should just go for any guy. When it comes to finding a man, you need to have certain standards. For example, first and foremost I wanted a man who was a Christian and loved the Lord with his whole heart (On his own, without me trying to push it on him). I wanted a man who set goals for himself. I also wanted a man who would encourage me and support my dreams.
Often times, we expect way too much. We want a guy who is romantic every second of the day, a man who never makes us cry, a man who always cleans up after himself, a man who will let us control his life.... STOP! This man does not exist. There are a ton of guys out there that have a lot to offer women, just give them a chance to be themselves. Men want to be loved for who they are, just like us. My husband is my best friend. He is my life partner. He is here to help me live the best life possible through Jesus Christ, and that is my job to him as well. A marriage is a beautiful thing. But we need to realize that our spouses are not here to be our lives. Jesus is working on great plans for our lives, and our spouses are here to be our number one supporters, to help us be the best we can be through Christ.
The flaw that many women have is that we so often put men before Jesus. Before you get married, you need to love Jesus more than anything else in the world. As single women, we focus so much of our attention on finding Mr. right, that we lose sight of our main focus- Jesus. Men and women are both sinners. That is why we desperately need Christ daily. Many single women think- “Once I get married, my spiritual life will be perfect and complete”. But the truth is, spiritual growth is a life-long journey, and should never be a destination. God is the only one who will fulfill our lives every second of the day, and he is the only one that brings true joy. When we expect a man to fulfill our hearts the way that Jesus is supposed to, we are let down over and over again. I think it's safe to say that the same is true for men. A man should never rely on a woman to to fulfill his heart completely. Humans are just way too unstable in comparison to the love of Christ.
I want you to know that I did not write this with the intention to put men down and emphasize the fact that they are not perfect... that is not my point at all. My point is that young women need to truly love Jesus with their entire mind, body, and soul before loving a man. You need to be completely consumed by his word and promises. You need to breath him like air. Through this, you will learn to love yourself-- and loving yourself will bring you more confidence. Men like confident women, Because confident women know that nothing in life is better than a surrendered life to Christ.
God wants to completely bless your life, but first he wants it all to himself. I thank God everyday that he continually reminds me to fall in love with him. Because the more I fall in love with Christ, the more blessing he shines upon my marriage. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to fall completely in love with you before giving me my husband, so that I can love him the way he deserves to be loved. And thank you for daily helping me to overcome this flaw that many women have.... we just have big hearts!
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