Woman to woman: Getting to the heart of things.

Let's face it, women have sensitive, gentle hearts. We are the ones who cry for no reason and get our feelings hurt. It is the way we were created. If our hearts have become hardened through the years, it is most likely because we have been hurt and put our guard up. We hide from our feminine traits and put our tough skin on.

We are protecting ourselves from our greatest fear: abandonment. We don't ever want to be alone in this world, and I'm not talking about alone time on occasion, I mean we want to be surrounded by people who love us and approve of us on a daily basis. 

As single women our greatest fear is that we will never find that man who will love us in that "fairy tale" sort of way and as married women, we fear that our husbands and/or children may one day leave us somehow. 

God created a woman to be lovely and graceful, something we fight against in our world today. In this day and age, women are expected to be sweet, but also tough. We are supposed to be submissive but also overly independent. 

We are given the word of God but live in a world that tells us to go to college, find this amazing career, and prove our worth and independence because after all, we can do anything a man can do, right? None of this is bad, it's just so confusing.

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have a freedom that allows me to do just about anything a man can do in this world, but it is time that I focus on and embrace the true beauty of womanhood. Every woman longs to be feminine and lovely. 

We want to be the most beautiful thing in the world to our husbands or future husbands. We want to hear from our men that we are the woman of their dreams, and when that doesn't happen on a daily basis, we doubt ourselves and complain that our husbands are not showing us enough affection.

This is where the holy spirit comes in. Before we can feel lovely for a man, we need to understand that our creator thinks that we are the most amazing, beautiful creatures on the planet. We want to feel needed and worthy, and sometimes we don't get that from the men in our lives, so we get down on ourselves. 

We, like men, need to seek wisdom and realize our true worth. I'm not talking about proving ourselves as being like men, I am talking about embracing our gentleness, our inner beauty, and our lovely spirits; all things that have been considered weak in this world. Our confidence needs to come from the holy spirit, not man. 

If we want to be that adored woman that is surrounded by people who love her and think the world of her, we need to know that God designed us a specific way, and embrace it. I'm not saying be weak, but rather, a strong Godly woman. We need to dig in the word of God and become praying warriors. 

We often under estimate how much men really do need us in this world. Our husbands, if anyone, need our encouragement and our prayers on a daily basis, just as much as we need that affection from them. We often have no problem complaining to them about what they are doing wrong, but very seldom do we take a step back and look within our own hearts and realize that we may not be giving them what they need as well. 

Everyday, they are living in a sinful world and trying to be the men that God created them to be. They are trying to influence the world as well and let's just face it, they want to be needed and admired in their "man worlds" too. There are days when he feels like his work wasn't good enough or he didn't provide financially the way he had hoped.

 He may come home from the office feeling like a failure, then just imagine.... he gets home and opens the door and the first thing he sees is a lovely woman who had been praying for him all day, a woman who greets him with a sweet smile and nothing but a big kiss and words of encouragement. She is lovely. She reminds him that he is truly admired and he sees God's beauty in her face.

Now, some of you may want to puke right about now, or say, "That will never happen in this house", but what if it did? Doesn't practice make perfect? Do you think that if we would pray daily for our husband's thoughts and our own hearts that it could be a reality? Why get married if you are not going to work hard and give it all you've got?

Do you think that if we would focus on the positives traits of our husbands that he would want to love us more? It's totally up to you. I'm not saying I am perfect or that this happens everyday, because I don't even have children yet, but I am certainly determined and I am going to start now. 

There have been plenty of older woman who tell me, "just you wait, give it 5 or 10 years and you will see that none of this lasts". Well, I have faith that God loves me, thinks I am lovely and wants to bless my husband and I with a glorious marriage. I'm tired of trying to be tough and acting like I don't need "man" in general to take care of me.

 God designed me to be feminine and lovely, something a man can never do. Women, today I challenge us, whether you agree with this entry or not, that we would pray for our husbands and try to be the woman he adores. 

Also, I pray that we would understand and truly grasp how lovely we are to the one who created us. Being a woman is not easy, and I'm sure it will get much harder as the years go on, but we have our Jesus to help us, every step of the way.

For the single ladies, you keep your focus on God and his word, and I promise you (from experience), God will bring you a man who will be worth all of this. Obedience is key.

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31: 10-12

(To any woman reading this that has been in an abusive relationship, I cannot give advice in this area, but I pray that you would realize your beauty and worth, have faith in God, and seek help as soon as possible from a pastor or local authorities. No woman deserves to be physically or mentally abused.)