Distant.

This last week has been a little rough for me. Not for any particular reason... I have just been in one of those funks. Usually I feel very alive and vibrant, but this last week was blah. I just didn't feel motivated about anything. I feel like I just hit a wall and didn't want to go to work or school or do my homework or clean my house. This is very abnormal for me.

Tonight as I listened to the amazing worship at Seven, I realized why I was in such a funk. There was a verse in one of the songs that I don't remember exactly, but it went something like "Sometimes you feel so far away, and other times you are closer than my skin". I realize that this past week or even past few weeks, I have distanced myself from God.

I have been letting myself get overwhelmed with school and work, and trying to carry the load of life myself. I have not been trusting God to carry my burdens or stresses. I have been trying to do it all on my own, and I am reminded of how weak I am without the strength of the Lord. I get prideful and think I can handle anything...  then God reminds me again of my need for him.

This week I found out that my mom's best friend (who I am very close to as well) has stage 2 breast cancer and will be undergoing radiation soon. It really weighed heavy on my heart this week, so that probably didn't help my week get much better... But she is a Godly woman who loves the Lord with her whole heart, and I am at peace knowing she is in God's hands. 

My husband has been very patient with my wave of emotions this week and brought me some encouragement. He gave me a quote from a book that said, "When we stress and worry, we are telling God that he is not big enough to take care of our problems". I am reminding myself of this with each deadline and paper... or even worrying for a friend. 

This week I am going to make sure I cling to my Savior and not try to do it all on my own. I want him to be closer than my skin, and remind me of his presence daily. He is my rock and my strength that will get me through any valley. I am blessed and extremely humbled. 

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us oh Lord, even as we put our hope in you." - Psalm 33:20-22

My better half.

Last week Marcos got offered tenure, which means his principle asked him to stay at their school and basically his teaching job is secure. I am so proud of him and I am so thankful that God has blessed his hard work and dedication. My husband is someone who I not only am in love with, but someone that I admire and look up to for many reasons. 

Marcos is dedicated, and passionate about seeing others succeed. He works hard, but always helps someone out along the way and I am blessed to share my life with such a man. And I know the teachers and students he interacts with on a daily basis are blessed as well!

Out of my comfort zone...

So, for my ethics class this quarter, I will be required to give an 8-10 minute speech on ethics and ethnicity. It is a speech all about me: Who I am, where I come from, and what ethical system I live by (Basically, I will talk about Christianity on this part). It seems like this would be really easy since, there’s probably no other topic I know more about than myself. However, I am finding myself freaking out a little, not about the speech... but about sharing my faith at a very liberal school. 

That may sound silly, because this is what we are here for.... but I think I’m freaking because I don’t want it to just be a speech for a grade. I want to give this speech in a very genuine, confident manner that would perhaps make a difference in someone’s life. I know I will be representing God, and I want to make him look attractive to people who don't know him... I guess this what pastor's experience every week =)

I know that ultimately, this is going to be an amazing experience for me to share my faith with my classmates and professor. And I know this is not an accident, but one of those times in life where I will be forced to step out of my comfort zone and stand up for Christ when I’d just rather sit there. Surely, God wasn’t going to take me through this university without sharing my faith! I ask you to pray that God will give me confidence and the ability to share his word in an attractive way... in this room where even atheists exist. 

Something more...

There’s something more...

There’s something more than ourselves,  more than trying to get ahead...

There’s more than the daily grind, more than just work....

There’s more than this problem at hand, more than what we can see....

There’s more than what we have to get done today, more than being in a hurry...

There’s more than being in the spotlight, more than passing that stranger...

There’s more than taking the lead, more than just letting the world pass us by....

Life has many, many difficulties... and it will never “just be” easy. But there is always something more beneath the surface that we often forget to see.... A person we often overlook can be one of the most amazing individuals we have ever met. Someone “different” may have something beautiful to teach us. That extra moment we take to listen to someone may make all the difference in the world in their life. That extra change may not mean nearly as much to us as it does to someone else. It’s hard in this world to be selfless, but then again... 

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" -Micah 6:8

Thankful for My Husband, My Daddy, Jeff,  Roberto, and Timmy... Five of the most selfless, humble men I have ever met.