Sunday, February 22, 2009

Distant.



This last week has been a little rough for me. Not for any particular reason... I have just been in one of those funks. Usually I feel very alive and vibrant, but this last week was blah. I just didn't feel motivated about anything. I feel like I just hit a wall and didn't want to go to work or school or do my homework or clean my house. This is very abnormal for me.

Tonight as I listened to the amazing worship at Seven, I realized why I was in such a funk. There was a verse in one of the songs that I don't remember exactly, but it went something like "Sometimes you feel so far away, and other times you are closer than my skin". I realize that this past week or even past few weeks, I have distanced myself from God.

I have been letting myself get overwhelmed with school and work, and trying to carry the load of life myself. I have not been trusting God to carry my burdens or stresses. I have been trying to do it all on my own, and I am reminded of how weak I am without the strength of the Lord. I get prideful and think I can handle anything...  then God reminds me again of my need for him.

This week I found out that my mom's best friend (who I am very close to as well) has stage 2 breast cancer and will be undergoing radiation soon. It really weighed heavy on my heart this week, so that probably didn't help my week get much better... But she is a Godly woman who loves the Lord with her whole heart, and I am at peace knowing she is in God's hands. 

My husband has been very patient with my wave of emotions this week and brought me some encouragement. He gave me a quote from a book that said, "When we stress and worry, we are telling God that he is not big enough to take care of our problems". I am reminding myself of this with each deadline and paper... or even worrying for a friend. 

This week I am going to make sure I cling to my Savior and not try to do it all on my own. I want him to be closer than my skin, and remind me of his presence daily. He is my rock and my strength that will get me through any valley. I am blessed and extremely humbled. 

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us oh Lord, even as we put our hope in you." - Psalm 33:20-22

4 comments:

Birdcage Designs said...

maybe your pregnant!. just maybe.

Samantha Haverlock said...

I was thinking the same thing about pregnancy... Which would be wonderful news!! I'm just saying... =) Min, I am always a phone call away if you ever need to vent your frustrations. As for Tammy, she is in my prayers and I have faith that she will make it through. I hope you have a better week this week. I love and miss you!!!!

Heidi - said...

I hope this week has been better! You are in my prayers, even though I have been out of it lately, You are still on my prayer list!

Oh, and thanks for the call yesterday!

Unknown said...

My sweet friend... I love you!