Just a mom...

I have a deep love for writing. I am the type of person that will push through my insecurities to bare my soul through writing. It's like a therapy for me. Often times I won't write something or won't share it for fear that someone may disagree with me or I may offend someone. That will never be my intent in anything that I write. In fact, I truly hope to only encourage others through the things I write. The older I get, the more I am learning to trust God in every single area of my life. I'm learning to live my life with open hands. I don't ever want to hold onto anything tighter than God. Just like everyone else, I simply want to be used by God to make the world a better place. That being said, what I'm writing today has nothing to do with anybody's life or experience but my own and what God is teaching me. I have been encouraged so many times by others simply sharing their hearts, and that's what I pray happens as I share my heart today.

Our church is doing a series on family right now. It is called family camp and it is all about helping families to thrive in God's beautiful design for the family. Last night, as I listened to the teacher speak about what God says family looks like, I felt a little softening in my own heart. It's funny how so many times when we are in church, we are wishing someone else could be in the auditorium hearing this message that was specifically for us to hear.

I have been thinking about my own life and how God's word speaks to my heart about the family. One thing that stuck out to me was when the teacher talked about focusing on my own role. I have been married for almost six years to such an amazing, Godly man. The Lord has blessed us with two beautiful children. Yes, we are walking in God's design for family. The Lord blessed Marcos and I with great examples of why it is so important to build your foundation on the Word of God before we married, so we have started our marriage off on God's word from day one.

I was thinking how this message could speak to me when it seems like Marcos and I have done so many things God's way. It's funny how I thought so many other people I know need to hear this message. Then God grabbed my focus and showed me that He will always hold believers to a high standard. No matter how well I am doing, He will always have something new and exciting and beneficial to teach me.

I went to college and have a Bachelor's degree in Mass Communications, and shortly after I graduated, Marcos and I welcomed our first child and suddenly my life revolved around caring for this new, beautiful, helpless little child. We quickly learned that being a parent wasn't all just fun and wonderful. I've only been a mom for a little over three years and I have a lifetime to go. Last week in Pastor Tom's message he said that raising a family is the hardest thing he has ever done.

What God spoke to my heart was simply, "Mindy, I created you to be a wife and a mom, and that is okay. In fact, I am going to change this world by you simply being a mom."

I have days when I struggle with "Just being a mom". I fall into moments when I think that I need to be doing something more. I need a side job or I need to be thinking about what I am going to do when my two kids get into elementary school. I am laying out my plan of what important thing I will do in this world once my kids are bigger and I do something outside of the home. I have days where I struggle with thinking that what I do isn't important if I am not "at a real job where I get paid." I struggle with not wanting to be labeled as "A weird stay-at-home-mom." Terrible, I know, but I am being honest about my thoughts.

Last night God whispered to me that it's okay to "Just be a mom". In a world that puts so much value on what everyone else thinks about us and what we need to prove to people, I am learning every day to keep my eyes fixed on him. Last weekend when I watched my husband instruct my son on the baseball field and guide him on where he needs to go next and how to run the bases, I had a moment of "This is what life is all about". God has brought him and I together to love each other, love others, and to teach and guide these little children that God gave us and trusted us with. God has given us the Bible to instill His word into our children with love and discipline.

God has given me an amazing husband who loves The Lord, loves me, loves our kids, and loves others. I am realizing that being a wife and a mom is a very high calling with very high value. These days and moments that I spend with my kids and teaching and loving them are going to set them up for success as adults. I trust that God has a greater calling on my life and a great plan beyond just what feels good for me or what would impress others. I always have a plan of my own that is about me, but God's plan is other's focused and that truly is where my cup overflows.

I don't know what tomorrow holds. I don't know if I will only have two kids or if God will bless us with more. I don't know if I will ever have a paying job outside of the home or if I will spend a majority of my life taking care of my kids at home. Only God knows these things. What I do know is that He has given me a beautiful marriage that I constantly need to build up, to strengthen, to give all of my heart and love to, because this will be what affects my children most in their lives. I want them to have an example of Godly parents who love and respect each other, who revere our amazing God and who see first hand in our home that God created the love and stability of family for a reason. I am learning that the life I live for The Lord will speak louder than any words I ever say to my husband, kids and the world. I have a role in my family and in this life that is very important and esteemed in the eyes of My Lord.

Today, instead of worrying about what the rest of the world is doing or what is popular or what people will think of my life, I choose to focus on The Lord and who He has called me to be. I choose to love and respect my husband and always nurture our marriage. I choose to be the best momma I know how to be to my kids, and remember that in the moments when I screw it all up, God will be there to give me strength when I am weak. I pray that today we would all forget what the world says and focus on what God says about us and what He has trusted us to do. Also, to believe with all our hearts that His plan for our lives is beyond anything we could ever imagine. He truly wants to bless us beyond belief. Blessings to you all today.